The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize