Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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