the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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