even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
