she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
