He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
