He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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