Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
