How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
