hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
