Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
this is an emotional support booty call
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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