She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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