Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
