I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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