He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
