Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize