we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
