In the future we'll all be gay
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
