If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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