yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
