Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
