so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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