after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
