I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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