you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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