The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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