whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
