u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
