I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
