Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
