I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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