And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
