watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
