He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize