I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
