can u get pink eye on your cock?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
third nipple confirmed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
