Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
