just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
