In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
