This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
