Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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