Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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