everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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