We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize