that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
