i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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