sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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