To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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