Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have tasted many bathrooms
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
