Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we're making bets on your personal life
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Also, beer. Big fan.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
