I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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