overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
