I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
