I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
