Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize