This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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