Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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