his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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