that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
