today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
