Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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