saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
