Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
