went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
