so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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