Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
