i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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