I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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