seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
