Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
