I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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